That fateful time has come. Your long term boyfriend’s lease just ended and your roomie has decided to move out. Now what? Is it time to…move in together?!
Living with your significant other is a decision that should be thought through and discussed on a deep level. It is a big step and life does change when you take that step. Even if you have been attached at the hip for two years, things are different when you move in together.
- First of all, there is the matter of finances. Since you share a home, things like rent, utilities, cable, internet, furnishings, decorations, groceries, etc. are all a mutual responsibility. These things should be sorted out before move-in day. There is nothing more frustrating than having your electricity cut off because of a mix-up.
- It is also a good idea to move into a new place together as opposed to him moving into your place or vice versa. That way, you both feel like it is your home and no one has the unfair advantage in living arrangement arguments. You can set up your own designated “sides” of your room, bathroom, closet, etc. When you each have your own space, you are still living together, but not melting into one human being.
- Next, there is the issue of household chores. We all know that some people are messy while others need perfection. In order to avoid arguments or built up resentment, lay out some guidelines. Let him be in charge of taking out the trash and laundry while you do dishes and sweep/mop. There should be a somewhat even division so no one feels like they’re taking care of a child. And if you’re the clean one, be patient. Not everyone is OCD. ;)
- Finally, and arguably most importantly, there is the need to have alone time or a girls night in. Hanging out with your lover 24/7 can sound fun at first, but sometimes you just need to be alone. Luckily, schedules aren’t always on the same wavelength, so you can probably squeeze in some alone time here and there, but it never seems to be right when you need it. The first suggestion I have is to make sure to have two TVs in the house. It is the perfect excuse to go in another room and just relax. I also have a little spa day to myself every Sunday. I go in our bathroom (luckily it is a nice size) and exfoliate, tweeze, facemask, mani/pedi, whatever I need and just relax. Having this alone time is special and my man respects that.
Remember, you’re not always going to agree. In fact, you probably won’t agree most of the time, but as in any relationship, it is important to compromise and pick your battles. Moving in together is a big step that only serious couples should take. Don’t do it out of convenience, don’t do it to save money–do it because you can’t stand being away from that special person for more than 5 minutes.
Have you lived with a significant other? What advice do you have for those considering it?